Showing posts with label healthy sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

One Tip to Instantly Become More Attractive

By cutting back on porn and masturbation, people are finding that they're becoming more attractive. While I'm a realist who acknowledges it's no easy task to be completely "pure" and free from all fantasy, I feel it's also beneficial to understand what the research says.

1) Over 50 studies confirm that porn hurts real relationships.

From the Telegraph: “Across all 50 studies, the authors found that porn had an overall negative effect on men’s sexual and relational satisfaction." Since living a life full of porn and fantasy hurts real relationships, people can expect that giving these things up will only boost the potential for actual sexual experiences.

2) By giving up fantasy, we make room for reality.

In a TED talk called "The Demise of Guys", psychologist Philip Zimbardo addresses the negative effects of porn addition. He describes males who “prefer the asynchronistic internet world to the spontaneous interactions in social relationships” and therefore fail to succeed in with women (Link). To use an analogy, why settle for cheap food (porn) when you could dine at a gourmet buffet (real relationship)? Though Zimbardo is specifically talking about porn and fantasy here, these things tend to go hand in hand (no pun intended) with masturbation.

The experience of becoming more attractive to the opposite sex seems to be common among those avoiding masturbation. One man documented that, "At work, there are girls that I would consider to be out of my league that are now looking at me" (Link). Another man says, "I've been attracting the hottest girls of my life...My ability to attract girls and especially higher quality ones has skyrocketed...My conversational and flirting skills are the best they've been" (Link).

3) Improve your relationship with your hand partner.

If you are always masturbating, you are fulfilling a sexual need by yourself. Therefore, it is less likely that you will feel the need to pursue sex within an actual relationship. As one woman puts it, "For me, limiting sexual intimacy to a shared experience was the kickstart my relationship needed. Now when I found myself unexpectedly in the mood, my thoughts turned to 'Won’t it be nice when my boyfriend gets home…' instead of 'Where the hell did I put that Hitachi Magic wand?'”(Link). For people who desire to have sex, porn and masturbation can be a distraction from real-life relationships.

4) Use Sexual Energy for Creativity

Sexual energy is extremely powerful, and some people have found ways to harness it and use it successfully in other areas, such as creativity. As award winning artist Prince said, "I'm single, celibate and sexy - I feel free...That's what happens with years of celibacy - it all goes into the music. This time, it has to be the right person." (Link). Mahatmas Gandhi often talked about how his celibacy helped give him the energy to inspire change and revolution in India (Link).

Monday, November 7, 2011

Preventing STD's

The governments of Uganda, Philippines, United States and India have had success promoting the ABC approach as one of the best ways to prevent the spread of AIDS (Link) (Link) (Link). 

The ABC Method has 3 Parts:

- Abstain from sex
- Be faithful if you do not abstain
- Use a condom if you are not faithful (Link)

How well do condoms prevent AIDS?

A study from the National Institute of Health states that condoms reduce risk of transmitting AIDS by roughly 85%, leaving a 15% chance of transmission each time a person has sex with an infected partner (Link). 

Other STD's

"There is no clinical proof that condoms are effective in reducing the risk of infection from chlamydia, genital herpes, HPV, syphilis, chancroid or trichomoniasis. Some protection was found for men against gonorrhea infection, but not for women" (Link).

Does the Birth Control Pill prevent STD's?

The birth control pill does not prevent STD's. Common side effects of birth control pill include headache, dizziness, breast tenderness, nausea, breakthrough bleeding, decreased libido and mood swings (link). 

What is abstinence?

Abstinence means refraining from sexual intercourse until a specified time, such as marriage or a committed relationship (Link). 

Abstinence is Uncommon

According to a recent study, 99% of all Americans have had sex by age 44, and 95% had done so before marriage (Link). This study does not account for those who have had sex in the past but may be currently practicing abstinence for whatever reason.

"Safer Sex"

There are many people who may find complete abstinence difficult. On their website, Planned Parenthood states that "Another way to practice safer sex is to only have sex play that has no risk — or a lower risk — of passing STDs. This means no vaginal or anal intercourse" (Link). According to this article, two factors which suggest that a person is ready for "safer sex" include: "I am ready to let my partner know my limits when it comes to taking risks. I am ready to say no to sex when I don't want to have it."

How well do condoms prevent pregnancy?

"The typical use pregnancy rate among condom users varies depending on the population being studied, ranging from 10–18% per year. The perfect use pregnancy rate of condoms is 2% per year" (Link).

Does uncommitted sex lead to other problems?

Sometimes sex, even protected sex, leads to pregnancy. Sometimes the mother chooses to have an abortion. "More than 1 out of 3 women in the U.S. have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old" (Link). Some rare but serious side effects of abortion may include "heavy or persistent bleeding, infection or sepsis, damage to the cervix, scarring of the uterine lining, perforation of the uterus, damage to other organs or death" (Link). Other times, if the parents were not committed or choose not to commit, the child will grow up in a single parent household. "Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality" (Link).

Abstinence Tips

American pregnancy.org suggests these tips for those who wish to practice abstinence:

" - Do things with friends or in groups:
- Go on double dates
- Minimize physical affection that could lead to passion and desire, making it harder to abstain from sexual intercourse
- Avoid situations where you are alone "(Link)