Saturday, March 26, 2016

Why Do Relationships Scare Me?

I'll be honest here. Dating relationships can be scary for me. Maybe it sounds strange, and maybe it is. But I can't deny that I struggle with these feelings. I'm not exactly sure why I feel this way, though I can describe my feelings in hope that it helps others who can relate.

Basically, I feel that dating relationships often require an enormous amount of attention, energy and focus. And these things tend to drain my energy to the point where I lose focus on the other important things in my life: friends, music, creativity, travel, etc.

Yes, I see the value in long term relationships and marriage. Love, warmth, a helping hand, a listening ear and even sexual fulfillment. Logically, I realize that living in a committed relationship is probably the best thing for humans in general, including me. But emotionally, I struggle with the idea of having to give a woman so much attention that I lose attention on the other things that matter to me. Often, relationships end up feeling more like work to me than they probably should.  I don't want someone complaining that I'm not giving them enough attention. I really don't want another "boss" checking up on me and telling me where to be and what to do. Thanks, but no thanks...

Maybe what I'm describing isn't true love anyways, and maybe I'm just waiting for true love to surprise me. As cliche as it may sound, maybe I'm the kind of guy who needs to be friends first. To quote a couple more cliches - it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, and I'm not getting any younger.

It may take a miracle, so I think the important thing is keeping an open heart to the possibility of the miracle of love. Miracles still happen to those who are open to them.


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